Forgive me, RIP Sweet Steve

[Sheather]

I can't stop the shed of tears as I type this, racked as I am with heartbreak and guilt. Just several moments ago, I killed my beloved little funny-haired songbird. She was hopping about on the floor, picking at seeds, just being herself, when I completely did not see her against the carpet of the exact same color... until I felt the crunch, a horrible crunch. In the pit of my stomach I knew at once what had happened, as the little golden-green tuft of feathers vaulted forward with a final lurch and at once go limp. It was silent. The spark of life, in an instant, was gone.

I killed my Steve tonight. She's gone, died while looking me right into my eye as her body fell motionless on the floor, a pool of blood forming around her. Every bone in her sweet little body dislocated. A beautiful little soul extinguished far too soon. Why her. Why now. I feel sick to my stomach.

I set her body back on the floor of the feeding cage after a moment to allow the other birds to see she was gone. The reaction that followed absolutely broke my heart as her mate alighted at once beside her, grew frantic around her body, calling without reply, and her 3 week old chick, barely fledged, hopped down from his perch and snuggled against her. He is still there, and it is breaking my heart even worse. I feel like the unseen man who killed Bambi's mother. I have never gotten this broken down about losing any pet in my life. I'm absolutely a blubbering mess right now. I killed her. My favorite of all the aviary birds. Everyone's favorite. She was only a year old, in her prime. The best personality. The best mother. Gone.

And she had an egg inside her, just ready to be laid. That was what the blood came from.

I killed Steve.

I killed her unborn offspring.

I widowed her mate and orphaned her son, who Walter now will have to wean alone.

Horrible, horrible day.

Please rest in peace and forgive me, Steve. You were an amazing little creature. Your life was so very short - too short - but I hope it was as enjoyable and carefree as it could have been, little mop-top. You filled my every day with joy and laughter and I'm so, so sorry.

There will never, ever, ever be another Steve.

Rest in peace.

<3 <3 <3

[Atbird]

Oh no . I am so sorry! I can sympathize, I accidentally killed a healthy chick by flinging it from the nest. It's a horrible feeling, but know that you are not alone. Unfortunately, accidents happen.

Is the little chick being fed by the father, if it is under a month old it cannot eat on its own. Provide soft foods like cooked quinoa and soaked seeds and egg food.

[Sheather]

Walter is feeding the chick, the young one has also been accepting warm mashed food by hand from me for a few days now, which he is able to eat on his own. I originally started this to start with his taming right away, but I think this supplementation will be especially helpful now that he's halfway orphaned.

[delray]

Sheather I'm so sorry.... I cant even imagine.... I can't believe this happened to you. I know no matter what I say it womt change anything, but you shouldn't feel guilty at all.

[lovezebs]

Sheather

Oh hon...
Dylan, I don't even know what to say.....
I am so so sorry. I know how much she meant to you. You love all of your birds, but Steve , was special.

It was an accident, and these crazy tings happen without rhyme or reason.

Again, I'm so sorry Dylan.

~Elana~

P.S. I just lost one of my little GB's a little while ago.

[KarenB]

Oh, Dylan, I'm so sorry. It's making me tear up. I feel in some way connected with Steve, as of course my Timbrado is named after her. But maybe it's something more. Steve, my Steve, is my favorite, too. Such wonderful personality, such beautiful singing to greet my day. I'm sad for your Steve, but not half as much as I know you are.

I once ran over my cat. He was deaf and asleep behind my tire, and as soon as I backed up, and over him, he went flailing around the driveway and finally fell still. I cannot un-feel the feeling of running him over. When I delivered him to be "taken care of", the box he was in was still warm with his body heat. And that was 15 years ago. It still makes me shutter. So I can relate to what you must be feeling.

*Big hug*

[Ginene]

Dylan...I am so very sorry for your loss . Please try to forgive yourself and know that Steve is flying high & free over the rainbow bridge. Sending you much love, hugs and prayers. Fly Free Sweet Steve...

[Rox]

Oh Dylan, I am so sorry that you had to go through this but please don't blame yourself. Accidents happen and they happen to all of us. I stood on a quail when I was younger, so I know how you feel. Learn from this, forgive yourself and move forward with more knowledge than you had before.

Sending lots and lots of hugs to you

[Sheather]

I'm just going to miss her so much. She was the best little bird in the world. So much personality.

[Zebrafincher]

Please don't blame yourself. Accidents happen and I know you would have never meant this. I am weeping as I write this because I know much you loved your little bird. Like I love mine. Treasure Steve's memory and her baby because in him she lives on. But Dont beat yourself up. These things happen. God bless zebrafincher

[MiaCarter]

Oh god.
I'm SO sorry.
I don't have words. I'm sure you're beyond horrified right now.
I love Steve. I'm going to miss hearing about him and seeing his adorable photos. And I'm sure that's nothing compared to what you feel. He/she was really special.

***Please** don't beat yourself up.
Accidents happen. And it just plain sucks when they do.

I've nearly done the same several times. I now have a 'no floor' policy for that exact reason. I spook them up off the floor if I catch them down there. (Yet I still catch them down there on occasion.) I try to shuffle whenever I'm in the bird room, but I sometimes forget.
It really could happen to anyone with a bird room or aviary.

Like the others, I too have accidentally harmed one of my babies. I tripped while carrying a tiny orphaned kitten and I fell on her and broke 2 of her legs. One had to be amputated. It was awful. I felt such awful guilt every time I looked at her. It was so bad I had to re-home her to a good friend once she was all healed and grown up.

Of course, knowing that it can happen to the best of us doesn't make it better.
And it doesn't bring Steve back, which sucks.
I'm so sorry.
Fly free, little Steve.
We love you, little bird.

[monotwine]

Others have already said what I would. We could all testify to some terrible accidents. You not a killer.

Hugs your way. I too know the feeling of accidentally killing a bird.

[wilkifam]

Sheather

Oh Honey! SO Sorry, Please don't blame yourself, it could happen to anyone of us.

So sorry about Steve.

[Sheather]

The pain hasn't much gone yet, the room is just not right without her there.

Steve's mate, Walter, does not help the situation. He has not stopped frantically calling and searching for his partner since she disappeared. His call is loud, low, repetitive, and so very plaintive and drawn-out, as if he's begging her to come back, wherever she went. He stares out the window, he stands in the doorway and calls down the hallway, he flits frantically back and forth from all of her most frequent napping spots, searching for her in the greens, to no avail. It's truly heartbreaking. So pre-occupied is he that I've taken their 22 day old chick Weaver and am almost exclusively feeding him by hand now (fortunately he's more than content to eat for me and is able to peck and swallow soft food and formula on his own now when offered it, though he won't eat from a dish yet) as his dad isn't in a stable enough state to even notice him to feed him for three quarters of the day now (he does briefly snap out of his distress to, of all things, try and court our other hen).

At the very least, Weaver may end up exceptionally tame after all of this. I hope Walter will settle down with Kari and forget Steve soon, because as bad as that sounds, she can never come back. : (

[Sally]

I'm so so sorry to read this. I know how awful you feel, because I have accidentally killed birds myself. In fact, I also stepped on one years ago, the same type accident. Most of us have had similar stories, it happens. Please don't beat yourself up, but remember all the good things about Steve.